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I thought I’d kick off Tuesday with something a bit light-hearted and jovial… Or not.
Over the weekend, the satirical police force of Bullshire reminded cyclists that “it is mandatory for them to use the designated cycle ditches” around the fictional town.
With a tone strikingly similar to the real-life Met Officer who, when dealing with a cyclist who had just avoided a collision with a red-light jumping taxi driver, pointed out the apparent law-breaking tendencies of cyclists, Bullshire Police’s Chief Constable Sir Mason Lodge said that his officers “will be taking robust action against any cyclist caught flouting the law” by not riding in the new bike ditches.
He continued: “The law is there for a very good reason. Under no circumstances should car drivers and other superior road users’ progress be impeded by cyclists.”
This isn’t the first time Bullshire Police have tackled pressing road safety issues. Back in 2017, they took on the Highway Code:
Cyclists: Are you aware of Rule 1 of the #Bullshire Highway Code for Cyclists? pic.twitter.com/mzLXQZQNzv
— Bullshire Police (@BullshirePolice) July 26, 2017
While this weekend’s parody post had a little something for everyone – Cyclists wear ridiculous clothing! Motorists think they’re above the law just because they drive cars! – some Facebook-using drivers (says it all really) took it all a bit too seriously.
“Oh if only, this would be a dream come true,” wrote one, while another described Bullshire’s cycle ditches as “where they deserve to be”.
Some didn’t even bother with the point of the post, and just used it as yet another stick with which to beat people riding bikes.
“If cyclists had a form of ID/reg plate and compulsory insurance their behaviour would improve immensely,” said one user, frantically scribbling on her anti-cycling bingo card as she pressed ‘send’.
Though top points go to the Facebooker who used a post from a parody page to wish violence upon vulnerable road users, writing: “Get run over by a heavy vehicle, that’ll show them.”
Delightful.
Over on reddit (it’s been a productive morning), cyclists agreed that Bullshire County Council’s active travel plan actually represented an upgrade on some real-life examples of cycling infrastructure.
“Unrealistic,” said one user. “There are no potholes or fallen trees in the bike lane.”
“And no parked cars too,” wrote another.
“And no smashed bottles.”
“Or road construction signs.”
We could go on…
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