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BREAKING:
We’ve summarised the comments from Edinburgh’s latest consultation on pedestrian and cycling schemes, so @edinburghpaper doesn’t have to.
These aren’t parody they are real! #EENWarOnMotorists
— Edinburgh Morning Mews (@edinburgh_mews) August 15, 2022
A few ‘councils and cycle lanes’ specials to kick off today’s live blog…
First, we’re heading up to sunny Edinburgh – nope, it’s not a story about the Fringe, don’t worry – where the city council earlier this summer launched a public consultation on new proposals to improve walking, wheeling and cycling, as well as public transport links, parks and public spaces around housing developments in Leith, Lochend and Easter Road, Queensferry and Burdiehouse.
The proposed measures include the installation of segregated cycle lanes and enhanced crossings in the Burdiehouse area, as well as pavement widening, dropped kerbs and placemaking improvements.
It all sounds great, right? Right…?
Well, Edinburgh Morning Mews – the parody Twitter page that has spent the last few month’s lampooning the actual Edinburgh Evening News’ “war on motorists” narrative – has collated some of the very real responses to the council’s consultation.
While one resident simply, clearly and succinctly responded: “I object to it all”, some of the other comments – especially regarding the cycling-related aspects of the proposals – were particularly insightful:
“If cyclists really need a safe space, then a painted cycle lane would suffice”
— Edinburgh Morning Mews (@edinburgh_mews) August 15, 2022
“There is a wide pavement which could have a cycle lane on it”
also
“cyclists don’t use the space given to them – they use the pavements.”
Also
“All they’ve done is cause congestion – including on pavements.”
— Edinburgh Morning Mews (@edinburgh_mews) August 15, 2022
“the council could bring in mandatory cycle proficiency tests for all cyclists before they are allowed on a road and some sort of licence plate allowing identification”
— Edinburgh Morning Mews (@edinburgh_mews) August 15, 2022
It’s hard to believe it’s not parody…
Also, won’t somebody please think of the poor motorists (and dogs)?
“I would like to formally register my objection to the ongoing cull of traffic within Edinburgh.”
— Edinburgh Morning Mews (@edinburgh_mews) August 15, 2022
“as a dog walker, I need a van to transport dogs from their home to walk locations and back. There is an animal welfare issue here”.
Dogs can’t walk to their walks.
— Edinburgh Morning Mews (@edinburgh_mews) August 15, 2022
“As a local resident, I feel very sad that I can no longer jump in the car and be at the beach within the 3 minutes it used to take”
— Edinburgh Morning Mews (@edinburgh_mews) August 15, 2022
“I object to ALL of the proposals listed in the consultation document. The paper should be entitled ‘Restrictions for the Majority’. Get rid.”
— Edinburgh Morning Mews (@edinburgh_mews) August 15, 2022
“It would appear that your only agenda is to make it extremely difficult for cars to use the roads.”
— Edinburgh Morning Mews (@edinburgh_mews) August 15, 2022
Some of the alternative suggestions were not, ahem, especially well-thought-out:
“If you want to reduce congestion and pollution, let the traffic flow. In that way, the traffic leaves sooner.”
— Edinburgh Morning Mews (@edinburgh_mews) August 15, 2022
“As I’ve said for decades, if you want to know the best way to manage traffic, ask taxi-drivers”
— Edinburgh Morning Mews (@edinburgh_mews) August 15, 2022
“Please completely remove the road furniture from all sites”
— Edinburgh Morning Mews (@edinburgh_mews) August 15, 2022
Gordon Struth summed the whole thing up perfectly:
If ever there were proof of the dangers of inhaling toxic gases inside a car, it’s this thread.
Simultaneously hilarious and terrifying.
— Gordon Struth (@gordon_struth) August 15, 2022
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